Tuesday 1 May 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Donald Trump tells Thanos to “Calm down, Little Gauntlet Man”


Donald Trump has a go at Thanos

Donald Trump is starting on Thanos.

Having got to the point of amicable talks with Kim Jong Un, the President of the United States has been seeking a new, incredibly dangerous foe at which to hurl childish insults.

“He’s a little gauntlet man,” chuckled Trump.

“He’s obsessed with his little stones, folks. Not me though, I’m only in possession of a pair of big stones, if you know what I mean.

“He can beat up Iron Man all he wants, he hasn’t dealt with me, folks. I’m tougher than Iron Man. Seriously, ask anybody. They’ll tell you.

“If he’s ready to talk like a big boy, then he knows where to find me. But if he carries on like this then he will feel fire and fury the likes of which the world has never seen.”

Thanos replied, “This…this is your leader?

“No…I mean…really? I’ve been to quite a few planets over the years, one of which was run by an actual flea, and none of them were this pathetic.

“Oh well. Let’s hope he’s in the half of the universe that I’m looking to wipe out. Fingers crossed!”

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