Thursday 26 April 2018 by Davywavy

Local man thought Kanye was a wanker before it was popular


Kanye West

Local hipster Simon Williams thought Kanye West was a massive bellend years before anyone else thought of it, he has announced today.

Williams, who prides himself of being ahead of the curve, has produced several entries on his blog dating back to the early 2000s to support his claim that all those people only just getting into thinking Kanye is a twat are just jumping on the bandwagon now it’s popular.

“I get that ‘Kanye West is a dick’ has really gone mainstream now, but some of us have known about him being an utter plank for over a decade,” he told us with a weary eye-roll.

“It was obvious from the opening bars of The College Dropout in 2004 that his wankery was going to go massive – it was just a matter of time.

“I was telling everyone back then how much of a dick he was, how his arseholery was spectacular and way beyond anyone else in the industry, but nobody else had really spotted it yet.  They all kept using words like ‘mercurial’ and ‘virtuosity’ to describe him, even though I knew they were completely wrong about him.

“Imma let you finish, but I guess I’m just more perceptive to emerging trends than most people,” he added, smugly.

When asked, Simon told us that he stopped following Kanye ages ago when it looked like he was going to sell out and take his dickery mainstream, and he has high hopes that Drake’s massive twattery will go viral and prove him right any day now.

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