Thursday 19 April 2018 by Chris Ballard

Men all over country walking tightrope between removing suit jackets and sweaty armpits


man sweating on the hottest April day

The hot weather is forcing male office workers to negotiate that tricky path between taking off their jackets and hiding their hideous, soggy underarms.

Looking professional and maintaining a rudimentary level of personal hygiene are both basic requirements for the modern worker. However, very hot and sticky conditions can make that balance a difficult one to get right.

Accountant Simon Williams talks us through a typical day in the searing mid-twenties heat of present-day Britain.

“When I leave for the station at 0700 it’s still a bit chilly so of course, I need my jacket on. That said, even the twenty-minute walk to the train leaves my armpits slightly moist. At this point I’m thinking ‘maybe my deodorant hasn’t dried yet, I’m sure it’s not noticeable.’ As a precaution, I take my jacket off on the train.

“When I get into London I’m basically completely dry again, though temperatures are now noticeable higher. I carry my jacket to the office.

“Now comes the tricky part – my 0900 meeting with a client. I simply have to wear my jacket, even though the air conditioning is shit and the risk of saturation is high.

“After the meeting, I briefly remove the jacket only to catch a look of embarrassed horror on my colleagues’ faces.

“Inwardly dying, I realise I am passed the point of no return, have dripped my way well beyond the event horizon. I rush to the toilet and look in the mirror – it is an apocalypse of sweat, armpit-ageddon. I now have no choice – my jacket goes back on and doesn’t leave my back for the rest of the day.

“Hours later I get home, peel off my crusty, yellowing shirt and throw it in the wash. I slump in front of the telly wearing only my pants, smelly, exhausted and defeated. I should really shower but I can’t be arsed. I hope it snows tomorrow.”

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