Friday 13 April 2018 by Pete Redfern

Bombing Syria is definitely the best use of hundreds of millions of pounds, insist nation’s homeless


Britain's homeless

Homeless men, women and children across the land have today confirmed their unanimous support for military intervention in Syria.

The news will have reassured Theresa May, the best British Prime Minister with the first name Theresa, that the best use of millions and millions of pounds of taxpayer money is to spend it on missiles to reign down pure hell upon Syria’s President Assad and anyone who happens to be his general proximity.

“When you’ve got that much money lying around and literally nothing much to spend it on then you might as well sink a few million quid on some missiles,” confirmed homeless man, Simon.

“The great thing about having no social issues of our own to worry about in this country is that it gives us the opportunity to get involved in other countries and their incredibly complex domestic issues,” he added cheerfully, taking a bite out of a discarded sandwich he found on the floor.

“I mean, when you’ve got hundreds of millions burning a hole in your pocket you can choose to send a single Tomahawk cruise missile into Syria, or you can feed ten thousand homeless people for a few weeks. It’s an absolute no-brainer, right?

“I can’t think what else Theresa May could spend possibly that money on, and I’m sure there is no risk at all of her ending up causing any long-lasting collateral damage or political instability with this action.

“Anyway, while you’re here – I don’t suppose you have any change on you, do you?”

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