Wednesday 11 April 2018 by Neil Tollfree

New Facebook apology android makes convincing first public appearance


Mark Zuckerberg Facebook android

A new Facebook apology android’s first public appearance, as a replacement for Mark Zuckerberg at a Senate hearing, has been judged a largely successful one.

Whilst the android’s colour seemed a little off, it hadn’t really mastered smile mode yet, and it’s speaking voice was occasionally quite stilted, the android could more or less pass as a regular human.

“Look, was it human? Of course not. Was it the most realistic replication of a human being in android form yet seen? Definitely,” said Simon Williams, a robot expert.

It had been thought that the senators forming the hearing might well be disapproving of Facebook’s decision to send an android replica of Mark Zuckerberg rather than actual Mark Zuckerberg, but as they get on TV regardless, they seemed fine with it.

Facebook has been working on an apology android for some time now, as the annual week or so of apologising that Mr Zuckerberg has to do for whatever sinister intrusion Facebook has most recently been caught perpetrating has proved quite time-consuming in recent years.

“Well, I think that the ultimate goal here is to have twenty or thirty apology androids up and running,” continued Mr Williams.

“This will allow Facebook to egregiously exploit its users even more, as they can just wheel out an apology android every few weeks to appear before senators without bothering Mark Zuckerberg.”

The Senate hearing will continue today, providing the apology android doesn’t suffer a catastrophic failure, switch to ‘destroy’ mode and massacre everyone nearby.

Which, as it’s Facebook technology, is not entirely out of the realms of possibility.

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