Tuesday 10 April 2018 by Davywavy

Jeremy Corbyn calls for independent enquiry into outcome of a game of Cluedo


Jeremy Corbyn cluedo investigation

The Labour leader has said it is ‘impossible to be sure’ that Professor Plum killed Doctor Black with the Candlestick in the Ballroom.

The murder, which took place in Tudor Mansion last night, was solved when the black envelope was opened revealing the identity of the murderer, the location and the weapon.

However, Mr Corbyn took to social media to say that a full enquiry into the game was needed as there were questions still to be answered by other parties including Colonel Mustard and Miss Scarlett.

“It’s possible that Doctor Black killed himself, or maybe Mrs White the cook shot him down the secret passage from the Conservatory despite all those cards being in my hand,” he told followers.

“We have to pursue every possibility, both inside and outside the envelope,  before pursuing sanctions.

“I don’t think that we should jump to conclusions about Professor Plum, and suggest he be shown all the evidence against him as he has promised to help as much as he can with the investigation.

“Certainly we should be open to the possibility that Doctor Black was killed by the Israelis with the false flag in the Billiard Room.”

Mr Corbyn also suggested that MI5 may have switched the envelope to cover-up the real identity of the murderer, but later retracted and said he had been ‘misquoted’.

Twitter followers of Mr Corbyn agreed with him, saying it was ‘very convenient’ that Professor Plum just happened to be the card in the envelope when it could easily be anyone else.

In the last few minutes, the Russian Embassy in London has issued a statement that there is no proof  Doctor Black, Tudor Mansion or Cluedo parodies even exist, which is odd as nobody had thought to ask them yet.

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