Monday 9 April 2018 by EssBee

Lib Dems to appoint Elvis in ‘How to stay popular after you’re dead’ consultancy role


Lib Dems, vince cable

The Liberal Democrat Party, which died two years ago when the Tories pushed it off the toilet, have confirmed today that they are to appoint Elvis Presley in a non-executive role, to assist in making the party popular whilst it is dead.

Vince Cable, who has been in charge of looking after the corpse since mid-2017 told us today, “It is true that we need to look at trying to stay popular by relying on old policies and we are hoping that Mr Presley will be able to re-work them into something new and groovy to appeal to a new generation.

“We’ll soon be top of the political hit parade,” he laughed.

Mr Cable, who knew the rock’n’roll legend’s grandfather, has even hinted that Elvis was prepared to use some of his famous songs to promote the party.

He went on, “I think that Elvis has some great songs and I’m hoping that he might allow us to use them to both to show what we think of the opposition, with hits such as ‘Hard Headed Woman’ and ‘Moody Blue’, whilst saving some of his bigger hits, like ‘Way Down’ and ‘Are you Lonesome Tonight’ for ourselves.”

It has been alleged that the King of Rock and Roll was contacted after Jesus refused an offer to resurrect the party over Easter, saying it was ‘too dead even for me’.

It is expected that Elvis will be introduced to the remaining party members at Mr Cable’s 107th birthday party on 9th May.

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