Monday 9 April 2018 by Alex Webster

4 Non Blondes still unsure what’s going on


Linda Perry 4 non blondes

90’s vocal group 4 Non Blondes still has yet to ascertain what is going on, according to reports this morning.

The group maintains that, despite nearly twenty years of grungy fashion and acoustic solos they insist that a rapidly changing world has led to even greater uncertainty regarding the human condition.

There have also been a high number of noise complaints from their neighbours in Shoreditch.

Simon Williams told reporters, “She wakes up in the morning and steps outside, takes a deep breath, gets really high and then screams from the top of her lungs ‘WHAT’S GOING ON?!’. I really don’t need that every morning, especially with an excitable dog. My Sunday lie-ins have been ruined.

“I’m not sure if it’s the same Non Blonde every time, or a different one because they rotate. It’s usually still dark.”

The band’s big hit, ‘What’s up’, delivers a heavy-handed message about confusion and despair. Fans maintain that after being in heavy rotation by local radio stations for nearly twenty years, people are finally starting to take it to heart.

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