Tuesday 3 April 2018 by Rory McNab

Cadbury to release gravy-filled Creme Egg in the North


Creme Egg Gravy

The chocolatier Cadbury has announced they are releasing a limited-edition gravy-filled Creme Egg that will only be available in the northern parts of England.

Speaking at the product’s launch, Samantha Chorley, a Cadbury’s representative, said, “We’re thrilled to introduce this latest addition to our range.”

“We asked you, the proud people of the North, what you wanted from your egg-related confectionary; and when you spoke, we listened.

“We also asked a group of leading medical experts whether it’s advisable to fill an entire chocolate egg with gravy; but when they spoke, we chose not to listen.

“And so, behold our delicious gravy egg.”

Ms Chorley then bit into one of the brown ovals. A small rivulet of gravy began to trickle from her mouth as she chewed, before she vomited into an adjacent potted fern.

“I forgot to mention, I’m from Reading – I don’t really have the constitution for this.”

There were widespread parades across much of Northern England celebrating the news. Speaking at one of these impromptu street-parties, Barnsley resident Ian Burdock said, “If there’s one thing we Northerners love more than being the victim of broad-brush stereotyping in a light-hearted piece of web satire, it’s t’gravy!

“It’s brilliant, all they need to do now is release a Curly Wurly full of sausage meat and I’ll be in heaven!”

A nutritionist has described the egg as being “one of the most damaging things to happen to the lives of Northerners since Margaret Thatcher.”

The gravy-filled Creme Egg will be available from all irresponsible newsagents Northern-wide.

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