Monday 2 April 2018 by Gary Stanton

Anti-Semites grudgingly thank the Jews for four days off


Begrudging thanks for Easter break

Anti-Semites have taken a brief pause from their hatred of worldwide Jewry to grudgingly acknowledge the four-day Easter break they’ve been gifted.

Jew-haters the world over used their sub-literate blogs to thank give thanks for the extra days off work courtesy of those Jews they hold personally responsible for the death of Christ, meaning pretty much all of them.

Meanwhile, Jews across the globe were grateful for the brief respite from being depicted in murals holding wads of cash and having the Star of David urinated on by hardline Labour activists.

Leading anti-Semite, Simon Williams, said, “Fair play Shylock, this much-needed break has given me time to catch up on David Icke’s latest sensational book, the one that he couldn’t find a publisher for because the Jews own all the printing presses.”

Fellow anti-Semite, Richard Crickmar, said, “Although they obviously murdered Jesus, depending on which unreliable historical account you subscribe to, the generous holiday period has allowed me to spend time on my watercolours, none of which I can get exhibited in local art galleries and we all know why.

“But four days off! Credit where it’s due, I say.”

Jewish curator, Isaac Goldstein, said, “Despite Mr Crickmar’s obvious talent, we’ve yet to find sufficient space for his subtle triptych of men with hooked noses and unkempt beards holding gold coins just beyond the reach of healthy-looking blond infants.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I planned to spend the rest of the holiday period feasting on the blood of gentiles with Lord Sugar and David Baddiel.

“When I’ve finished lending people money, obviously.”

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