Thursday 29 March 2018 by Dave Doink

Man who made a big deal about quitting Facebook just liked a photo


Man who left Facebook

A man who made a massive deal about leaving Facebook has just liked a photo of a friend’s holiday.

Keith Pertwee wrote a needlessly long, attention-seeking post about how he was quitting the social media platform after news broke of the Cambridge Analytica scandal and how his Facebook data had been illegally accessed.

“I thought we’d seen the end of him on here, four days ago he seemed utterly convinced he was leaving the social media platform behind, but he’s just liked 14 pictures from my week in Lanzarote,” said Trevor Windley, who met Pertwee once at a wedding seven years ago.

“At the time I was actually quite glad to learn he was deleting his account because I was fed up of seeing him turning up in my timeline, going on about immigrants, sharing fake news memes, or celebrating how he got 100 percent in a piss-easy quiz that my dead hamster would ace.

“To be honest, I wouldn’t be that bothered about him coming back on Facebook, but every single picture he just liked was of my wife in a bikini.”

Pertwee confessed to reporters that he had indeed reactivated his Facebook account.

“It’s true,” he sobbed.

“I wanted to make a stand against corporate giants and their continued harvesting of citizens personal data by going off the grid to ensure the world’s superpowers couldn’t influence my freedom of thought.

“But everyone at work was talking about how cute the pictures of Jane’s new dog were.

“Oh god, they’ve got me, haven’t they?”

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