Wednesday 28 March 2018

Man happy paying £1.50 for stuff that comes free from the tap furious at paying 10p for bottle it comes in


man drinking recyclable bottled water

People who don’t think twice about paying £1.50 for a bottle of water that would have cost them a fraction of a penny if it came from their tap, are today losing their shit at plans to charge them ten pence for the bottle it comes in.

Price-savvy consumer Simon Williams has been left furious at government plans to introduce a levy on recyclable plastic in the hope it will promote greater recycling and less waste.

“Who the fuck do they think they are?” he told us.

“If I want to pay £1.50 for half a litre of water that costs me 0.05p at home, then that’s my prerogative. And if I want to then throw that empty bottle into a landfill so that it slowly decomposes over a couple of thousand years, then that too is up to me – I’ve paid for that privilege.

“How dare you charge me an extra 10p for the bottle in some pathetic attempt to encourage more environmentally friendly behaviour from me. If I want the environment to suffer, then I should be able to watch it suffer – it’s still a free country isn’t it?”

Williams was told he could avoid the recycling charge entirely by carrying his own reusable bottle around and filling up from one of the many many water fountains available on his commute and in his office.

He responded, “That’s not the point. Why should I have a reusable bottle conveniently tucked into my bag when I can easily go hundreds of metres out of my way to queue and pay through the nose for water instead?

“They haven’t thought this through, and it’s bastards like me that will ensure this plan fails. Mark my words.”

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