Monday 26 March 2018 by Lucas Wilde

McDonald’s Monopoly formally recognised as a religion


mcdonald's monopoly

A new religion has been recognised in the form of McDonald’s Monopoly.

With many more people worshipping at the golden arches for the chance of winning a mini cooper than ever before, the British government has finally done the sensible thing and recognised the practice of buying more food than necessary to increase the odds of winning as a religion.

“Blessed are the cheeseburger makers,” said McDonald’s Monopolist, Simon Williams.

“I have worshipped at the altar of McDonald’s Monopoly ever since the year 1 AMM (After McDonald’s Monopoly)

“Have faith and heed not the doubters, for they will tell you that is easier for a BMW X5 to successfully exit the drive-thru with intact alloys than to find both Mayfair and Park Lane.

“But by our faith we march forward, and we shall continue to buy two large Big Mac meals where we previously would only buy one, and if not the big money prize, we shall be thankful for our free apple pie, for it is Ronald McDonald’s plan for our lives.”

Simon’s wife said, “we used to be Catholics.”

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