Friday 23 March 2018 by Arabin Patson

Trump administration now down to just one intern


White House Intern

Following yet another resignation for the White House, it has emerged that Donald Trump’s sole support to run the USA is a well-meaning but rather hapless intern called Chad Williams.

Mr Williams, interim Chief of Staff/Press Secretary/Legal Counsel/Communications Director/Policy Adviser/Presidential Secretary/Golf Caddie, refuted allegations that the White House had been rendered useless by the constant firings, scapegoating and the fickle whims of Donald Trump.

He went on, “We have never been in a better position to make America great again. It’s just there’s so much energy and intensity around him, some people can’t keep up and resign.

“If they can’t handle playing in the big leagues, then it’s better they leave. By the way, I’m new to DC, does anyone know where I can get Melania’s dresses dry-cleaned?”

However, many Washington pundits speculate that Mr Williams is also going to be shown the door, now that some people had paid more attention to him than Donald Trump for a few minutes.

Others believed the workload was too much for one person, a notion that Mr Williams refuted during a short interview in between a CIA briefing and ordering more ink cartridges for the photocopier.

“President Trump is a businessman and he is not shy about consulting with specialists to help him make good decisions. He’s often on the phone with a diverse set of advisers. Foreign presidents, ex-intelligence officers, and other roles filled by people called Vladimir.

“Now excuse me, I have to do the cost projections for President Trump’s amazing border wall project.

“You any good with Excel?”

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