Thursday 22 March 2018 by Pete Redfern

Outraged Brexiters vow to craft their own new blue passports out of Wetherspoons beer mats


Wetherspoons passports

British passports should be blue and made in Britain after Brexit, even if we have to do it ourselves, leave voters have insisted today.

There has been widespread outrage amongst the Daily Telegraph-reading population today following the front page revelation that the famous blue passport which is due to make a comeback after Brexit will not be manufactured in Britain, but that a Franco-Dutch firm will make them inside the EU.

In his local Wetherspoons, livid Brexit voter Simon Williams fumed, “The whole point of voting to leave the European Union was firstly to keep all the foreign people out – the Muslims and all the white Romanians, I won’t discriminate – and secondly to get our lovely blue passports back.

“So to find out that some Frenchy is going to make our British passports makes me sick to my stomach. Churchill didn’t die in the trenches for this, did he?”

Picking up a beer mat he added, “We’ll be making our own from now on, using these. Some of them are blue-ish, and they are about the same size as a passport.

“I’ve seen Blue Peter enough to know that you can make anything you want to if you have enough sellotape, thanks very much.”

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