Monday 19 March 2018 by Lucas Wilde

“I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about Easter egg packaging” confirms Jesus Christ


Jesus easter eggs

Jesus Christ himself has weighed in on the concept of Easter eggs.

The public has been banging on for weeks about the idea of the word “Easter” being removed from the chocolate delicacies, despite the fact that hasn’t actually happened anywhere at all.

“I do not give a monkey’s,” confirmed the son of God.

“Your chocolate eggs have about as much to do with me and my story as I do with James Corden’s successful career.

“I died so that all of you might live, and crucifixion really, really hurts. It’s a bit annoying that some of you are using that sacrifice to get deliberately wound up over a snack that you will consume without thinking of me once.

“So, no. Go nuts. Call them Bunny Bollocks if you like and stop pretending that you’re offended due to a lack of me or my Dad, rather than a presence of something you object to because the Daily Mail said you should.”

The Prophet Muhammad said, “I don’t care either; why would I?” for those of you inevitably wondering.

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