Wednesday 14 March 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Jim Bowen greeted at pearly gates with his own speedboat


Jim Bowen gets speedboat in heaven

Jim Bowen has found Bully’s special prize waiting in heaven.

The presenter of Bullseye, one of the greatest television shows in human history, has died at the age of 80.

“He’s done very well in the category of showbiz,” confirmed God.

“You can’t beat a bit of Bully, and you can’t have a bit of Bully without Jim Bowen.

“He was always entertaining and managed to make darts more than just fat men lobbing tiny spears at a bit of cork for money. I’d always make time to watch him at tea-time.

“My favourite bit was at the end of the show when he’d sometimes reveal that two heterosexual men who didn’t live together had won a single fitted kitchen. Fantastic stuff.

“However we wanted to give Jim something special, so we got him the speedboat he probably always wanted.

“All those years giving away these fabulous water vessels to contestants from lake-free places like Reading or Wolverhampton and unable to take one out on the lakes himself – well all that’s changed now, Jim. It’s your turn to have a go in one of these beauties.”

The late Jim Bowen said, “I would have been happy enough with a Teasmade, but this is quite something.

“…are there lakes in heaven?”

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