Wednesday 14 March 2018 by Grant Slessor

God suffering existential crisis after meeting Stephen Hawking


God crisis after meeting Stephen Hawking

Following the passing of the late Professor Stephen Hawking reports from Heaven today indicate that God is suffering an existential crisis having been defeated by Hawking’s logic.

God is understood to have personally popped down to say Hi and joke about the whole atheism thing, but following a brief private chat with the revered Professor, God appeared to wander away looking confused.

According to prominent angels God has since been wandering about muttering, “But I could swear I created it. Yes, there was a Big Bang from the kitchen around the same time but that was just coincidence – wasn’t it?

“Why does he keep claiming that we can’t understand what came before it? It was probably my bloody cat. It usually is. But then I was drinking that night. Did I dream all that Creation stuff? I have to admit he does make a very compelling argument for his version of events at the start of the universe.

“I mean, it’s more than possible he’s completely correct. Oh no, does that mean I’m not even real?”

In a statement released to the press, God’s less well known younger son Simon Williams confirmed, “Look, this is why we usually send all the scientists to Hell – so thank you, Professor Hawking. For nothing.

“Dad really liked that Theory of Everything film and insisted on bringing him up here for a chat – we said it was a bad idea but he wouldn’t listen.

“Never mind. I’ll try and get him to make Donald Trump do something stupid again. That usually cheers him up.”

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