Monday 12 March 2018

Sky Sports announce Jamie Carragher will commentate wearing spit hood

Jamie Carragher to commentate using spit hood

Sky Sports has announced that pundit Jamie Carragher will be forced to wear a spit hood during future broadcasts.

The former Liverpool player was filmed spitting into a car being driven by a rival fan, raising concerns that sitting him opposite Gary Neville for any period of time could lead to Neville being drowned in a volley of sputum.

Sky Sports producer Simon Williams told us, “Jamie is passionate about his football, and Liverpool in particular, and sometimes that leads to him going a little over the top, but we absolutely do not condone spitting, and so we’ve taken adequate precautions.

“I think most football fans would agree that the temptation to hurl a throat full of goz at Gary Neville can, at times, be overwhelming – but the chemistry between them is so good that we can’t really drop either of them.

“As such, Jamie will wear a spit hood for the foreseeable future, and we just hope he won’t drown in there while criticising the defending during his next commentary.”

Former colleagues of Carragher’s have lept to his defence, explaining that his broad scouse accent is to blame for the shower of spittle that ends up in the hair of anyone who talks to him.

“I think it’s unfair to punish him just for being a scouser. Why not make everyone else wear a spit hood as protection instead?” asked one.

Neutrals across the country have admitted that Carragher’s behaviour goes way beyond the acceptable, but have also added that by far the worst thing about the incident is that he’s now made Gary Neville the likeable one out of the pair.

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