Friday 9 March 2018

Donald Trump to meet Kim Jong-un to discuss new bilateral hair care regimen


Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump to meet

US President Donald Trump will meet with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un to discuss the best way for them to maintain their distinctive hairstyles.

Trump announced the two will meet in the near future, although White House officials stated that sanctions will remain in place until Kim Jong-un gives up the secret to the luscious sheen he achieves in all his photos.

US political commentator Chuck Williams said the summit could be good for the world at large, and especially for those men with unusual hairstyles.

He told us, “Although they are both very proud ego-driven men, they each clearly have something they could learn from one another.

“Donald Trump could certainly learn about the use of clippers, which Kim Jong-un clearly knows his way around looking at the back and sides of his head.  Meanwhile, Kim Jung Un could definitely do with a slightly more flexible barnet on top, and we all know how good Donald is at manufacturing a bit of volume where there really shouldn’t be any.

“I’d expect the meeting to be tense at first, and I’m sure the first tip that’s offered will be a tentative one, but I would expect there to be a free exchange of ideas and for them to get on pretty well.

“It really wouldn’t be surprised to see a private ‘hair care’ WhatsApp group opened up between them, rather than relying on some diplomatic back channel or a South Korean intermediary.”

Meanwhile, secret service agents have confirmed that the nuclear football will be kept out of arms reach of the President during the summit, just in case Kim Jung Un escalates tensions with any references to a ‘comb-over’.

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