Wednesday 7 March 2018 by Pete Redfern

Traditional marriage has always been between a man, his third wife and a porn star, insist Republicans


Trump traditional marriage

Following the revelation that the pornographic actor Stormy Daniels has filed a lawsuit against Donald Trump over his attempts to silence her over their affair, the Republican Party have been quick to reaffirm that President Trump’s love life is completely normal.

Should the lawsuit be successful, it would void the alleged Non-Disclosure Agreement between Trump and Daniels, causing potentially significant embarrassment for the President and the First Lady in the eyes of his conservative fan-base.

“The fake news media are lying with their suggestion that Donald Trump is somehow morally deficient, so today we feel it our duty to reaffirm that the President is a man of upstanding moral character,” announced Republican senator Chuck Williams this morning.

“In short, marriage has traditionally been between a man, whoever happens to be his wife at the time, and any number of gold-diggers he can get his hands on.

“This is how marriage has been in America for centuries – it is upstanding, sustainable, the bedrock of a society, and there is no need to change it now just because the Liberal media don’t like current President.”

He went on, “Fortunately in Donald Trump we have a shining example of how a healthy marriage should look, he and Melania are a picture of happiness on the rare occasion they’re seen together.

“And for those who of you who still believe President Trump may have made some poor decisions along the way, don’t forget that Jesus said ‘Let he who has not cheated on his pregnant third wife with a porn star cast the first stone’.

“So there.”

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