Thursday 1 March 2018 by Dominic Brancaleone

Office workers spend more time congratulating themselves for making it to the office than doing any work


Office worker made it in despite snow

Widespread gloating and sarcasm have been reported across the UK from workers who have managed to make it into work.

As storm Emma continues to cause travel disruption throughout the UK, many workers have opted to work from home in order to avoid the treacherous conditions. This has led to outrage from colleagues who actually made the journey to work.

Daniel from Dorset, who didn’t want to miss an opportunity to lord it over those who didn’t make it in, told us that getting to work for him was a piece of piss.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with people – it’s just a bit of snow. I live 10 miles away and I still made it in, albeit with a few bumps on the car and bruises on my arse.

“Who cares if there’s a weather warning? If we listened to every warning people gave us, we’d never get anything done.

“We’re becoming a nation wrapped in cotton wool! Snowflakes afraid of snowflakes!”

James, also from Dorset, opted to work from home and told us the reason for his decision.

“The common misconception is that people working from home are actually building snowmen and sitting around watching Jeremy Kyle, but it turns out that I’m getting far more done than I would in the office without all the distractions and pointless disruptions I experience there.

“Also, nobody usually questions when I work from home. But now, when I have a genuine reason, people can’t understand why I haven’t come in.

“I’ve heard from other colleagues that people who are in the office are spending most of their time looking out of the windows at the snow, telling people how easy their journey to work was and sending sarcastic emails to anyone that didn’t make it in.”

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