Tuesday 27 February 2018 by Pete Redfern

Pfizer confirms preferential Viagra deal for NRA members will continue


NRA viagra discount

In the wake of a number of American firms severing all commercial ties with the NRA, every company involved with the production of erectile dysfunction drugs has today affirmed their strong links with the right-wing gun lobby.

Viagra distributor Pfizer is one of a number of firms who refuse to let the small matter of yet another group of teenagers being gunned down put them off pledging their ongoing support for the National Rifle Association.

A spokesperson for the pharmaceutical company, Simon-Bob Williams, told us, “Big firms like Delta Airlines and Avis car rentals have cowardly pulled out of supporting the NRA because of the whole ‘school shooting thing’.

“But do you know what’s more important than the lives of school kids? Upholding the right of our customers to make up for weaker than average sexual performance by wielding big guns, of course.

“The ties between erectile dysfunction and the need to fire real bullets at an impressive and continuous rate are just too strong for us to ignore as a business.”

He explained, “Last year we undertook a promotional deal whereby we offered a discount on packets of viagra tablets for NRA members and we sold out within a week.

“It seems that the kind of people who are dissatisfied with their sexual performance are predominantly second-amendment-loving card-carrying NRA members – it’s almost as if the bigger the gun they wield, the smaller and softer the genitals.”

“So obviously we would be stupid to pass up the opportunity to continue milking their flaccid penises for every penny.”

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