Saturday 24 February 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Britain could face two Tuesdays a week after Brexit

Brexit means two tuesdays

It is looking increasingly like Brexit, regardless of what trade deals are negotiated, will see Britain return to having two Tuesdays a week.

It is as a result of an EU directive that the UK, like all European countries, only has one Tuesday a week.

After leaving the EU, Britain would no longer be compelled to only have only the one Tuesday a week and will likely return to its pre-1973 state of two Tuesdays every week, with the option to reduce that to one Tuesday over the Christmas period left to the discretion of individual businesses.

“The Tuesday would be reinserted between the current Monday and Tuesday,” said Simon Williams, Professor of Days at Oxford University.

“The current Tuesday would then revert to its old name of Tuesday 2 or, as it was more popularly known, Twosday.

“There are some people who believe that the second Tuesday should be added after the existing Tuesday, but that would be mental.”

Businesses are welcoming the move.

“This is terrific news,” said corporate bastard Eleanor Gay.

“As a leading female businessman, there’s nothing I enjoy more than seeing the people who work for me being really unhappy and I can’t think of a better way to achieve that unhappiness than having a second Tuesday every week.”

There have been some calls from the Liberal Democrats to adopt the Norwegian model and insert the second Tuesday between Saturday and Sunday and have a three-day weekend, but that has been roundly dismissed as a load of hippy claptrap.

Second Tuesdays will come into effect during the transition period following March 2019 and if you think you’ll get paid extra for working a six-day week, then you’re delusional.

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