Friday 23 February 2018

This car definitely makes me invisible, insists man picking nose in traffic

Man picking nose in traffic

A man is busy picking his nose while sat in traffic, seemingly under the impression his vehicle renders him invisible.

Simon Williams, 33, is up to the second knuckle of his left index finger and is currently showing no signs of stopping there.

Fellow road used Emily Matthews told us, “If I’m honest, when I saw him going at it like that, a little bit of sick came up into my mouth.

“Then we briefly made eye contact, but he carried on like he was looking at me through a one-way mirror. He seemed to believe I couldn’t see him. But I could. See him, I mean. And, you know, ‘it’.

“I don’t know if he’s digging for treasure, but whatever it is he’s looking for up there, it doesn’t appear to be giving way.”

Williams himself defended his actions when questioned, and seemed genuinely surprised that anyone could know that he’d been picking his nose.

He told us, “Look, I know that no-one can see my horrifically disgusting personal habits; because it’s rush hour on the M4 and the traffic is practically stationary.

“Everyone knows that stationary traffic completely changes the laws of physics and renders car windows entirely opaque – but only to those looking in. I can still see out no problem at all, my visibility is still great.

“So of course no one can see me. I wouldn’t do something so revolting if I thought people would be able to actually see me doing it.

“I’m not an idiot.”

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