Wednesday 21 February 2018 by Pete Redfern

Doctors rush to White House after witnessing Trump take bizarre step in right direction

Donald Trump bump stocks

Doctors have rushed to the aid of President Trump after witnessing his unusual behaviour yesterday in which he undertook a bizarre and surprising step to actually do something positive.

Concern for the mental stability of President Trump has rocketed after he signed an order yesterday to ban ‘bump stocks’, thereby actually doing something positive towards America’s crippling gun problem.

The devices, which can be bought cheaply and without the need for background checks, enable semi-automatic rifles to fire as rapidly as machine guns and have been used in multiple mass shootings, leading the anti-gun lobby to hail the move as being a step in the right direction at least.

Psychiatrist Chuck Williams explained, “We have naturally always been a little concerned with Trump’s mental state – his obsession with ratings, his narcissism, his need to constantly measure the size of his genitals against other world leaders’ and his declarations that any views that contradict his own are ‘fake news’ – but at least he was consistent in that mental state.”

He went on, “However, now we find ourselves in a situation where he is a narcissistic toddler one day, then a measured, responsible statesman the next.

“His decision to ban these bump stocks was a surprise to his NRA fanbase, but also to us, too, as we never imagined he might do anything positive.

“Normally the executive orders he signs are to do with getting rid of people who don’t have the same skin colour as him.

“So we will be running some tests to check he isn’t suffering some sort of stroke or displaying early onset dementia, as those are really the only possible explanations for his bizarre behaviour yesterday.”

The results are due to be published next week, and if Trump’s strange behaviour looks set to continue, the Mexican President is rumoured to be planning a telephone call with Trump to discuss scrapping his silly little border wall plan.

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