Tuesday 20 February 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Tragedy strikes as on-fire Will Grigg walks too close to petrol station and kills 5

Will Grigg

Will Grigg’s on fire and that’s proving a bit dangerous.

The Wigan Athletic forward has scored in every round of the FA Cup so far, which has caused him to burst into flames a la the Human Torch off of The Fantastic Four.

“He looks spectacular, walking about, all on fire and stuff,” confirmed Wigan-based eyewitness, Simon Williams.

“But he needs to think whether that makes it wise to pop to the BP garage for a mushroom slice, given all the petrol flying around.

“Essentially the whole forecourt exploded and Will Grigg was left standing in the middle, still on fire but unharmed as nothing can touch him at the moment.

“The same can’t be said of the five poor souls who were refuelling at the time. One of them landed on a nearby bowling green and scared the shit out of some pensioners.”

Will Grigg said, “People might think it’s pretty cool being on fire, and it is, but it’s also pretty lonely. I haven’t had a cuddle since the FA cup started.”

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