Friday 16 February 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Man having previously good day suddenly remembers hideous faux pas from 1998


embarrassed man by memory

A man in the middle of a nice day has ruined it by remembering a socially inept thing he did twenty years ago.

Simon Williams, 36, was halfway through a PowerPoint presentation to a room of impressed board members when he suddenly recalled the time he accidentally elbowed an old lady in the nose in a busy supermarket.

“It was weird,” said eye-witness, Jay Cooper, CEO at BastardTech.

“Simon was midway through presenting some very impressive quarterly sales figures when he suddenly froze, turned visibly pale and ran out of the room.

“He’s either remembered something terrible from his past, or he’s got a bad case of the runs.”

“The presentation was going really well and then my brain decided to fuck me over for no reason at all,” said a visibly shaken Williams.

“I remember accidentally turning while raising my wrist to check the time, and I accidentally clouted an old lady in the face and she fell over.

“Everybody kind of just stopped and stared at me. There was quite a lot of blood coming out of her nose and I wanted to die.

“It was a horrible moment, but I’d forgotten it until just now when things were actually going really well.

“Thank you brain.”

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