Tuesday 13 February 2018 by EssBee

Road to Brexit blocked by five-politician pile-up

Brexit Car Crash

Police have confirmed that the road to Brexit will be closed for ‘some time to come’ following a serious multi-politician collision shortly after junction one, apparently caused by them all trying to drive in different directions.

Eyewitnesses claimed that the incident happened as Theresa May’s limousine was forced to swerve out of the way of a stationary vehicle in the third lane, in which David Davies was sitting, under the illusion that he was moving forward at a ‘good pace’.

This, in turn, led to Boris Johnson, driving a Panzer tank at full speed down the fast lane running into the back of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, driven by Jacob Rees-Mogg, which ran over and killed Liam Fox.

Police spokesman Bobby Hatt, who was one of the first on the scene, exclaimed, “It was carnage when we got there, with vehicles destroyed and much arguing over who was at fault.”

Once the PMs stretch-limo came to a halt, the Anthill Mob aggressively filed from a single rear door and were quick to point the finger at Johnson, with Clyde and Dum-Dum particularly aggressive, only the calming tones of Rees-Mogg wanting to swap insurance details and the gun of Private Meekly saving him.

The mob then ushered the PM away to a secret Irish hideout, where they are hoping to use her underworld contacts to get her into a 1985 DeLorean that will take her back to 22 June 2016, the last time she felt any sense of self-worth.

Meanwhile, reports suggest that Davies is still in the rear of his own vehicle, believing that he will ‘be there shortly’ when in reality he is making as much progress as a dead Fox.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: