Monday 12 February 2018 by Davywavy

Flat-earth space agency to launch satellites by throwing them off the edge

Flat Earth satellite launch

The Flat Earth Society is to beat Elon Musk at his own game by throwing satellites off the edge of the world to get them into orbit.

The society plans to both raise funds and prove its theories correct at the same time by launching telecommunications and weather satellites from their facility which will be built ‘perched above the void’.

The New agency will be called Flatearth Aeronautical Experimentation Colonisation And Exploration Society – or FAECES for short.

Space technology will be placed on the edge and given a firm shove to send it spiralling off the Earth and into a stable orbit around the rim of the world – which is flat and don’t you forget it.

“Elon spent ninety million dollars launching one measly rocket”, said FAECES spokesman Simon Williams.

“Ninety million! We reckon we get one off the planet for maybe fifty bucks.

“Less, if you bring your own lunch.

“Tossing satellites off the edge of the disc is what the Flat Earth Society was made for,” he added.

“We’ve had years of practise being tossers. We’re world leaders.”

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