Friday 9 February 2018 by Dan Sweryt

Last two ISIS ‘Beatles’ fighting over who has to be Jihadi Ringo


Jihadi Ringo

The last two British Da’esh ‘Beatles’ have come to blows over who ends up having to be Jihadi Ringo, after being confirmed last night as captured by Kurdish forces.

Since the ‘unfortunate’ death of compatriots Jihadi John by the British Military’s Operation Chapman and the imprisonment of Jihadi Sir Paul, it is understood that the two remaining tiny-penised, impotent members of the rapidly-imploding group have been constantly at loggerheads demanding that the other one is Ringo.

Dead jihadist Simon Al-Williams, speaking from the depths of Hades, said, “These two have been fighting since day one about not being Jihadi Ringo.

“Let’s face it, he’s not even the best jihadist in the IS Beatles.

“Neither of them wanted to be responsible for composing a terrorist version of Yellow Submarine and both of them were a little bit too mental to voiceover Islamic State’s version of Thomas the Tank Engine – working title ‘Thomas the Real Man who Spits on Imperialist Notions of Technological Advancement Like the Steam Engine’.”

Authorities have now turned their attention to a second IS group, Jihadi Spandau Ballet.

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