Wednesday 7 February 2018 by Chris Ballard

New flat BBC weather map lets viewers see exactly just how shit weather is over whole of Scotland


BBC Weather map

The new BBC weather graphics clarify that, yes, the entire country of Scotland is a cold, wet nightmare.

The change is a move away from the ‘curved earth’ look which made Scotland look too small and the south of the UK look too big.

Meteorologist Simon Williams said, “When Scotland was such a tiny part of the on-screen forecast Scottish viewers would be unsure as to the extent of those rain clouds – was it raining in Edinburgh, Aberdeen or both? Which of them was currently in the grip of a sleet storm?

“The new flat map confirms that the weather is absolutely bloody awful across the whole of Scotland. The sodden misery is all there in glorious, proportionately accurate high definition.”

However, BBC weather presenter and proud Scot Carol Kirkwood says the picture isn’t quite that simple, telling us “Scottish weather is actually quite nuanced and the new map will help me to point out subtle differences.

“For example, there might be torrential rain in Edinburgh but only heavy precipitation in Dundee. Or the temperature in Stornoway might be five below freezing when in Inverness it’s only four below.

“It’s nice to have the space to really explore micro-climates in this manner.”

Meanwhile, in the south of the UK the new map is having a very different effect. Property prices in London have rocketed overnight due to the apparent shrinkage in the habitable surface area. This has caused much merriment north of the border.

“We might have crap weather but at least we’re not fucking idiots,” said all Scottish people.

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