Saturday 3 February 2018 by HappyToast

Dennis the Menace frustrated by Walter Rees-Moggy’s Wall of gammon


Dennis the Menace and Jacob Rees-Mogg

Notorious troublemaker Dennis the Menace was left frustrated today as his arch nemesis avoided confrontation by employing an angry barrier of Daily Mail readers.

Victorian throwback and MP for North East Somerset Rees-Mogg was giving a speech at the University of the West of England when the cheeky prankster attempted to strike and disrupt the event.

But instead of attacking the MP’s views against marriage equality and abortion for rape victims with his usual flurry of stink bombs, eggs and wet paper fired from a pea shooter, Dennis found himself blocked by an impenetrable wall of gammon-faced supporters.

Dennis explained,”My plan was to highlight his terrible views on climate change legislation, support of zero hour contracts and stopping benefits raises for the disabled; all with a carefully positioned whoopee cushion, but I was blocked and pushed about by these red-faced men calling me ‘Antifa’ – whatever the hell that is.

“All I could do was shout at the top of my lungs in their faces which, to be honest, doesn’t really get the message across, especially when you watch it back on YouTube and see that it’s basically just a garbled noise.”

Dennis said that he has no plans to stop his protests, but is unsure what form he will be adopting next time in his attempt to counter the Mail Online informed barricade.

He went on, “I don’t know, we’re in Bristol, so maybe some cutting political graffiti like Banksy?

“Or perhaps I could send a satirical story into one of those crappy online parody news sites. That’ll show ’em.”

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