Wednesday 31 January 2018 by Gary Stanton

Whale that can say ‘bye bye’ bids farewell to Theresa May


Orca Killer Whale tells Theresa May to go

A whale that can ‘talk’ has engaged in some top-notch political punditry, according to reports.

The female orca, Simone Killiams, has learned to speak a handful of human words and exhibits similar linguistic ability to an average Brexit voter.

Killer whales are known to live in groups with unique dialects like Brummie, Scouse and Geordie.

Simone’s repertoire includes words and phrases such as “fish”, “traitor” and “taking back control”.

Whale trainer, John Goodier, reported that when Simone met the Prime Minister at London Zoo yesterday, she was heard to mimic the phrases, “time to go”, “bye bye” and “please fuck off”.

Goodier said, “Simone has been watching the Brexit shenanigans keenly ever since the proposed shake-up in fishing quotas, and is clearly not happy.

“Her stance, essentially, is that we need greater clarity in negotiations and a lot more fish.

“We’ve had to keep her separate from Phillip the Bottlenose Dolphin who strongly favours remaining in the single market.”

However, in a seismic political fishquake, Simone is reported to have said “hello” to Jeremy Corbyn on a similar walkabout only last week.

Goodier added, “On this occasion, I think she was just talking out of her blowhole.”

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