Wednesday 31 January 2018 by Tom Bruce

Kim Jong-un completes LEGO Millennium Falcon without instructions


North Korean Millennium Falcon

PYONGYANG, NK – Kim Jong-un, the immortal Supreme Leader of North Korea, has constructed the Star Wars LEGO Millenium Falcon toy from start to finish without referring to the instructions a single time.

North Korea’s public information department announced the remarkable feat on Monday morning.

Jong-un took just 45 minutes to put together the highly detailed model of Han Solo’s iconic Corellian freighter, which has over 7,500 individual LEGO pieces.

“He opened the box, dumped the contents on the floor, incinerated the instruction manual, blindfolded himself, and used the force to assemble the ship inside of an hour,” said a high ranking North Korean spokesperson wearing a Porg t-shirt.

When it was suggested that the character of Luke Skywalker was based solely on Kim Jong-un, Star Wars creator George Lucas stepped forward to deny the claims.

A medium-sized bribe from the North Korean government was enough for the spiritually bankrupt director to agree to re-release the original trilogy but with Mark Hamill replaced by a green-screened Jong-un.

In retaliation for Kim’s Millenium Falcon feat, Donald Trump tweeted that he’s going to build a to-scale LEGO Death Star consisting of three trillion pieces using only his “unusually large and dextrous” penis.

When complete, the President of the United States will activate the superweapon to eviscerate North Korea while forcing a LEGO mini-figure of “Princess Kim” to watch.

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