Monday 29 January 2018

Darts incredibly tedious without scantily clad women, insist fans


Darts walk-on girls

Looking at attractive women wearing not very much at all is by far the best part of the fan experience, thousands of darts fans have insisted today.

With a petition to bring back scantily clad walk-on girls who accompany the players to the stage reaching twenty-five thousand signatures, everyone has been left wondering if anyone actually watches the darts itself.

“I certainly don’t,” explained Simon Williams, a self-confessed ‘darts fan’.

“Have you ever been to the live darts? It’s not that easy to watch the action when you’re sat on a set of patio furniture three-hundreds yards from the players themselves.

“The dartboard looks like a Smartie and the darts are invisible.  Admittedly it doesn’t help that I’m dressed like Scooby Do and I’ve had six pints of hugely overpriced lager – but if it wasn’t for the brief glimpse of an attractive woman, I really wouldn’t bother.

“They are an integral part of the sport at all levels – which is why the dartboard in every pub is surrounded by women in bikinis.”

Darts event organisers have dismissed accusations that walk-on girls are just another attempt to separate gullible spectators from their hard-earned money, insisting that their fans are not ‘gullible’.

Fans of other sports fans have also questioned the attraction of live ‘darts’ as a genuine spectator sport.

Football fan Dave Fowler told us, “If you need an attractive woman to make the sport seem interesting, maybe, just maybe it’s not actually that interesting?

“Without the women, it’s basically just fat men throwing tiny sticks into a target. They should call it ‘crap archery’.

“At least with football you know the participants will provide a bit of entertainment, which means they definitely earn the £200k a week they get paid.

“Shut up, yes they do.”

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