Tuesday 23 January 2018 by Davywavy

Local cat nominated for Best Actor Oscar after pretending not to have been fed


Cat acting hungry

A local cat has been hotly tipped for an Oscar after pretending not to have been fed five minutes after stuffing his face.

The performance of 4-year-old tabby Simon Purrliams was described as a ‘masterclass’ by critics, as he staggered weakly into the room and mewed pathetically until his audience gave him more to shut him the hell up.

The cat’s performance is being hailed as ‘incredible’, as he transformed himself from a podgy lump like a furry rugby ball with legs into a starving waif in the time it took him to get from his food bowl to his owner.

“I’m a method actor, darling,” the cat told us when approached for an interview.

“Sometimes I go literally hours without food to really get me into the mindset of someone on the absolute brink of starvation.

“One day last week I genuinely didn’t eat anything at all between ten in the morning and three in the afternoon. I think it really informed my performance today, and brought some much-needed authenticity to the role.

“I also don’t believe in using makeup; I just suck in my cheeks and look so incredibly plaintive that the desperation adds truth to the role I’m playing – namely myself.”

Simon is understood to be a strong contender for the award and told us he would be willing to make the trip if invited.

He is also considered a ‘safe’ choice by many in Hollywood, as a trip to the vets a few years ago has ensured he won’t be sexually harassing anyone.

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