Tuesday 23 January 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Dread across America as Government able to do stuff again


America shutdown finished

There was concern, fear and dread across the US as it was announced that the shutdown had ended and the government could go back to going about its business as normal.

The end of the shutdown gives rise to the fear that Donald Trump’s government will do literally anything at all, and that rarely works out well for anyone.

“That was a pretty good 48 hours, you know?” said Wichita Lineman Simon Williams, wistfully.

“My government didn’t do anything stupid, greedy or out-and-out racist for a good few days.

“It was probably the least embarrassing period to be an American citizen in the last year or so.”

However, the shutdown has now come to an end after the Republicans made vague unconvincing promises about the welfare of child immigrants and the Democrats genuinely seemed to believe them for some unfathomable reason.

This means that government business can begin again with immediate effect.

“Yeah, it’s pretty disappointing,” said Mr Williams, sadly.

“I guess we’ll now see some new legislation that introduces serfdom, or moves to ban people from New Mexico moving to other states, or maybe they’ll just stick to giving massive tax breaks to billionaires.

“Oh wait, no, we did that one already.”

The agreement will keep the government open for business until February 8th, and the only hope for many Americans is that the Republicans do something else vile and hateful and cause the handful of decent people left in their government to trigger another shutdown.

“Yeah,” said Mr Williams.

“That’d be sweet.”

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