Thursday 18 January 2018 by Davytoast

Plague zombies at the door want to know if you’ve heard the Good News about Papa Nurgle


Papa Nurgle Zombies
A smartly-dressed pair of zombies at the door want to know if you’ve heard the Good News about Papa Nurgle.

Brandishing a cheerfully-coloured pamphlet titled “Braaaaaains!”, the zombies are very keen to share the benefits of joining the congregation of the Plague Lord.

The Zombies are understood to be ‘remarkably polite but persistent’ in spreading the word of their lord, who can grant eternal life of a sort to his believers.

“We’re the only religion to absolutely guarantee an afterlife,” one told us with a cheerful, hideously rotting smile. “And the dress code is very relaxed. It really is ‘come as you’ are to our services.”

Warming to their theme, the zombies confirmed that they hold no discrimination or prejudice, and absolutely anyone is welcome in their number.

“Just this time last year I was literally falling to pieces,” said zombie Simon Williams, 177, whilst trying to reattach his arm. “It was like I was in a hole and I couldn’t get out.

“But since Nurgle saved me I’ve felt full of new life. Doesn’t that sound great?

“Can I leave you this pamphlet about the wonderful things he can do for you?

“If you don’t want to join now, don’t worry, we’ll wait.

“Braaaaaains.”

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