Tuesday 16 January 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Aliens demanding “Take us to your leader” urged to keep their expectations low


Donald Trump to meet aliens

Aliens have landed and have been urged to brace themselves for something of a disappointment.

Visiting earth from their home planet of Rathnark 41, visiting aliens Tynarb, Huthrall and Stacey touched down outside Phoenix, Arizona, and demanded to be taken to the leader of the free world.

“At which point I inadvertently sputtered ‘oh crap’, which wasn’t the best first impression,” confirmed Chuck Williams, first on the scene.

“They’re asking to meet President Trump and I can only imagine how spectacularly badly that encounter is going to go.

“This is a man who can’t get through breakfast without annoying the toast, so Christ alone knows what the consequences could be of him pissing off a technologically superior alien race.

“I’ve told them to keep their expectations low, and not to use any big words or complicated concepts that Trump wouldn’t understand; such as renewable energy, peace among worlds, or fruit.”

Alien, Tynarb, said, “We wish none of you any harm, and we come in peace to share our knowledge with you.

“I can’t imagine that a ten-minute encounter with this President Trump fellow would change our minds on any of that. Surely he can’t be that antagonistic.

“No, we don’t have Twitter on our planet. Why?”

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