Sunday 14 January 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Literally everyone totally believes Donald Trump’s claim that he didn’t pay for sex with a porn star


Donald Trump porn star

The entire world is completely united in agreement that actual president of the United States Donald Trump didn’t pay for sex with a porn star.

The Wall Street Journal reported earlier today that a porn star called Stormy Daniels was paid $130,000 in 2016 to remain silent over a sexual encounter with Mr Trump.

The White House immediately denied the reports and literally every human being on the planet has responded by going ‘yeah, Donald Trump is definitely the last person who would pay to have sex with a porn star. That’s totally a lie’.

A handful of simpletons immediately rushed to defend the ‘President’.

“Donald Trump? Yeah, no way did that guy pay to have sex with a porn star,” said Chuck Williams, a normal man.

“I mean, come on, he’s apparently the legitimate President of the United States with completely convincing hair so I genuinely can’t believe that he’d do something as irresponsible and demeaning as paying to have sex with a porn star.”

Everyone on the planet completely agreed with Mr Williams, with the exception of the crooked media who maintain that Donald Trump definitely paid to have sex with a porn star because they hate America.

Or something.

“No, I’m not having it,” said Mr Williams

“Anyone who knows Donald Trump knows that if he had made a deal with a porn star to buy intercourse, he would have renegotiated the price as soon as he got what he wanted.

“I mean, next thing the media will be saying that Donald Trump grabbed a bunch of women by the pussy, and that’s just crazy talk.”

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