Monday 8 January 2018 by Jack Marshall

Roy Wood branded a hypocrite after taking down his Christmas decorations


Christmas decorations

Roy Wood was accused of being a hypocrite today after it emerged that he’d taken down his Christmas decorations.

Despite claiming that he wished it could be Christmas every day, Mr Wood was spotted at a council tip over the weekend disposing of tinsel, baubles and a fibre optic tree.

At a hastily arranged press conference this morning, the glam rock icon insisted that he’d done nothing wrong and was under no legal obligation to keep his decorations up beyond the 12th day of Christmas.

“To be perfectly honest, I’ve not felt this betrayed since discovering that Jools’ Annual Hootenanny is actually recorded in June,” said Simon Williams, a mobile DJ and Xmas song aficionado.

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“I’m not naive; I know that there’d be practical difficulties celebrating Christmas every day. For starters, a diet consisting of mostly turkey, mince pies and mulled wine would almost certainly be fatal.

“And watching hundreds of Queen’s Speeches would turn even the most normal and well-adjusted person into a Brexit supporting, blue passport loving, Daily Mail Reader,” added Mr Williams.

“Even so, I would’ve expected Roy to still be singing carols, pulling crackers and complaining about the Mrs Brown’s Boys Xmas special until at least Easter.

“Unfortunately, because novelty pop songs aren’t covered by the Trade Descriptions Act, Roy’s unlikely to face any real justice for his flagrant deception.

“However, if he’s got any integrity at all, he’ll be singing ‘I Wish It Could Be Christmas For About A Fortnight’ when it comes around again this year,” concluded Mr Williams.

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