Monday 8 January 2018 by Davywavy

Fire at Trump Tower identified as President’s pants

Trump Tower on fire, president pants to blame

Clouds of smoke have been reported billowing from New York’s Trump Tower after the President’s pants finally went up in flames this morning.

Emergency services have been called to the scene, where smoke began rising from a high window after the President spent several minutes Tweeting about his record of educational achievement.

Secret Serviceman S**** W****** told us how he made the discovery.

“It was around seven AM and I’d just brought the Commander in Chief his morning chicken nuggets to help him stay in tip-top physical condition, when I noticed a strong smell of burning.

“Entering his Penthouse suite I found the President still sitting at his desk furiously tapping on his phone screen with one thumb, as a cloud of billowing smoke rose from his trouser area and poured out of the open window.

“I tried to warn him that his pants did indeed appear to be on fire and that as his protection officer I should probably address the situation, but he just gave me a nomination for his fake news awards and told me to go away and stop being a loser.”

Even as flames licked at his belt, the Leader of the Free World refused all offers of assistance from those within Trump Tower and instead bravely spent several more minutes on Twitter blaming the conflagration on former President Obama and Hillary Clinton.

At the time of writing, Trump has asked the firefighters on the scene not to use their powerful hoses as they might wash the orange off.

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