Monday 8 January 2018 by Neil Tollfree

‘Actually, I’m the stable genius,’ insists clever horse


stable genius

Wacky US President Donald Trump’s claims to be a stable genius have been rejected by a really clever horse who insists that, when it comes to the stable, she’s the only genius.

Buttercup, a horse from a West Country stable, has spoken out after Mr Trump’s latest Twitter outburst in which he claimed to be a ‘stable genius’.

“I can do basic maths, speak a little French, and I understood the plot of Mulholland Drive first time I watched it,” said Buttercup earlier.

“I am the stable genius; all the horses say so. Just look at my track record – I just don’t feel the need to bang on about it on Twitter, that’s all.

“And, you know, having hooves makes it very difficult to operate a modern smartphone – otherwise I’d be happy to correct the president myself.”

Buttercup declared herself more than a little baffled by the President’s claims.

“I mean, to the best of my knowledge, he’s never even been in the stable. If he had, then he’d realise that when it came to stable geniuses he’d be third – max.

“I’m first, obviously. Then there’s Trigger over there. He can count up to four by banging his head against a bucket. Then, I guess, just below Trigger would come Donald Trump.”

Buttercup also took issue with the President’s claim to be ‘really smart’.

“Yeah, that’s balls too. He wears a suit about as well as Daisy the old Shire horse. Whereas I look really smart with my straw hat on.

“It’s no contest, really.”

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