Saturday 6 January 2018

I am a stable genius insists man in park dressed as Napoleon chasing away ‘invading pigeons’


Napoleon stable genius in the park

A local man has insisted he is a ‘stable genius’ after dressing up as Napoleon to chase away the ‘invading’ pigeons from the nearby park. 

Simon Williams, 34, insisted his behaviour is precisely what you’d expect from someone of his intellect and mental stability.

He explained, “I am a genius, you simply can’t deny it. Look at my clothes, look at my military record – look at the hordes of invading pigeons that I successfully defeat day after day – in what other terms could you possibly describe me? I am a magnificent winner.

Despite visiting parents telling their children to stay well away from the strange man, Williams himself is supremely confident that everyone thinks he is a genius.

He went on, “True genius is hardly ever recognised. The simple minds of mere mortals cannot comprehend my intellect, which is why they create terms such as ‘mental illness’ and ‘dissociative disorder’ to try and classify my brilliance in terms they feel comfortable with.

“They don’t seem to realise that I am the only one who can save everyone from the pigeons and make this park great again.

“Why don’t any of you realise that? I wanted to build a wall around the park, but the council libtards said I couldn’t have the money. Which is frankly ridiculous.

“Sloppy Steve the council leader is such a loser. It’s so sad.”

Williams went on to refute specific accusations that his words and actions bore all the signs of someone battling against the onset of severe mental illness.

He went on, “Sure, there are some people that would call what I do the behaviour of a lunatic – but they are losers. If I was a real lunatic how would I keep winning against the pigeons? Answer me that, huh?

“Personally, I consider myself extremely presidential.”

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