Friday 5 January 2018 by Dave Doink

People who are happy to spend £3.70 on a coffee losing their shit about paying 25p for cup


Coffee cup disposable

Coffee drinkers who are happy to spend the fat end of £4 on a hot drink are losing their shit about having to pay 25p for a takeaway cup.

Caffeine-addicted office worker Alice Evans was outraged after discovering the Environmental Audit Committee wanted to introduce the tax in a bid to improve recycling.

“I buy two vanilla spice lattes every day at £3.70 each – paying 25p for a cup would take the cost to almost £8. It’s an absolute outrage,” she said.

“I know that I’m effectively spending more than £50 on hot water, milk and a few beans every week, but that’s a lifestyle choice – something I am perfectly happy with.

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“The new flavours my local coffee shop introduce give me something to talk about in the office and make me sound mildly interesting.

“So fuck the planet – as if my 25p would make a difference anyway!”

Alice’s boss Nigel Sotnick was worried that it may cost even more to order one of his trademark super-size beverages.

“I like to swan into morning meetings with a bucket-sized cup of coffee to make me look like a high-powered executive doer and absolutely not like a massive twat with more money than sense,” he confessed.

“If I have to pay twice as much for twice as much cup it would be a shambles. What sort of businessman would pay 25p or more for cup they’re going to throw away anyway? Not a good one, I know that much!

“I haven’t been this pissed off since I had to pay 5p for a plastic bag to carry home my £200 bottle of vintage red.”

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