Thursday 4 January 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Shock at revelation that Donald Trump may have read a book


Donald Trump can't read books

The revelations from journalist Michael Wolf’s explosive new book Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House continue to come thick and fast, perhaps the most stunning revelation of all is that Donald Trump may have read it.

Although never officially confirmed, it is widely thought that Donald Trump reads at a pre-grade-school level, and has only actually read one book to completion – How the Grinch Stole Christmas – which has gone on to form the basis of his political ideology.

“This is an incredible turn of events,” said political commentator Eleanor Gay.

“If the President is actually capable of reading a book then there is a faint hope that he might acquire some knowledge and under his rule, the US won’t eventually descend into a Mad Max style post-apocalyptic wasteland.

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“Which was previously considered the absolute best-case scenario.”

However, amongst Trump’s core supporters, this latest revelation of ‘book reading’ was treated with a great deal of suspicion.

“A book, you say?” Asks 94-year-old Chuck Williams from Arkansas, who makes decorative KKK robes for a living.

“I don’t hold with none of that fancy reading of them there books, that leads to learnin’, and we don’t hold with no learnin’ round these here parts. Books are only good for keepin’ the fire goin’.”

To try and limit damage to President Trump’s core support, a White House insider is officially denying the rumours that the President can read a proper grown-up book, and is instead claiming that Melania actually read the President the book at bedtime.

Just after she changed his nappy.

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