Thursday 28 December 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Man City to win Premier League, World Cup, snap general election


Manchester City

Manchester City’s dominance is now so complete that not only are they expected to win the Premier League, but also this year’s World Cup, any snap elections called, and the game of monopoly that’s been going on around your brother-in-law’s since Boxing Day.

Whilst they have been favourites to take the Premiership title since the start of the season, no one could have realised how complete their dominance would become, and even a man who got a little confused in Ladbrokes and bet on them to win Wimbledon may find his five pounds wasn’t wasted.

“This really is the complete football team,” said football pundit Simon Williams.

“So, yes, I think the Premiership is a given, the Champions League and World Cup are likely and given Real Madrid’s disappointing form, they’re probably the only team who could challenge Barcelona in La Liga.

“I can’t imagine that Theresa May will have another snap general election this year, but if she does then I think that the potent attacking force of Sterling and Aguero should prove more than a match for May or Corbyn.

“Kevin de Bruyne’s tactical intelligence will see them crush all-comers at Monopoly, even your brother-in-law, regardless of his A-level in economics. To be fair, with such a strong bench, they could probably beat your brother-in-law’s kids at Mario Kart at the same time as well.”

Manchester City’s next fixture is against Crystal Palace, where City are expected to win so comprehensively that the entire Palace team quits football and takes up chartered surveying instead.

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