Sunday 24 December 2017 by Davywavy

Anti-establishment politician all butthurt at not being offered a knighthood


Nigel Farage not getting a knighthood

A self-described anti-establishment politician has taken to the press to sulk about not getting a knighthood today.

Nigel Farage, who has spent the last couple of decades parading round like a ten-bob Roderick Spode talking about how he didn’t care what the establishment thought in their ivory towers and he’d stick it to them, has taken to the airwaves all upset that this has somehow failed to net him a gong and a nod off the Queen.

“If they’re handing out state honours you’d think that someone who has devoted his every waking second – well, when he’s not knocking off his secretary – to the disestablishment of the existing order would be top of the list,” he told listeners to his Radio Show ‘The two-minute self-hate’.

“If there’s anyone you’d think would be a shoo-in for a knighthood it would be someone who has worked tirelessly to undermine forty years of work by the very people who decide such things,” he added in the sort of distraught and petulant tone really only heard among those who are catastrophically lacking in self-awareness.

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“Well, I don’t care. I’ll move somewhere where they’ll hand out honours and large foil medals to any tinpot johnny-come-lately with a plausible manner, a couple of banknotes and a stiff gin.

“Europe, I’m thinking.”

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