Saturday 23 December 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Parents’ neighbour has bit of an accent


older couple neighbours

It has been revealed that your parents’ new neighbour has a bit of an accent.

The stunning revelation emerged yesterday afternoon when your brother popped in for a cup of tea.

“I’d only been there for five minutes,” said Simon Williams, your brother.

“I was telling Mum and Dad about this new project to bring the company auditing regulations up to specification and was feeling pretty good as it was probably the longest they have ever been able to feign interest in my career.

“All of a sudden Mum just went ‘OhmyGod.’ Just like that, like, all one word.”

Mr Williams immediately reassured himself that his and your mother wasn’t having a stroke.

“No, she was fine, but she just started going on about the new neighbour who’s this man called what she thought was ‘Mel,’ but she wasn’t sure and Dad is ‘useless and never remembers anyone’s name’.

“Apparently, he has a bit of an accent.”

Your brother found himself a little confused about what exactly to do with this information.

“Well, I don’t know,” he said.

“Is having an accent a good thing, a bad thing? Does it make him likely to be a spy? Able to bake nice pastries? A former Secretary General of the United Nations? I just don’t know.”

Your Mother then changed the topic of conversation because Mr Williams ‘is just never interested in other people’ and has ‘always been like that since he was a boy’.

However, on leaving your mother did promise Mr Williams that she would let him know if there were any developments with ‘him with the accent’.

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